Obligatory Post

Because I feel obligated to, here is a post.

Not much to report... I did kill a monster cockroach yesterday though.

There I was, innocently minding my own lazy business on the coach, when, out of nowhere, this prehistoric beast was upon me! It crawled along the floor near the walls, dazed and confused due to the light, its unholy eyes unused to it. The size of a small dog, this creature of the night looked as though it had recently scuttled from its nest deep within the bowels of the sewer system, in order to carry off some small child on its carapace.

I immediately sprung to action. Having on only leather top-siders, I knew that stepping on the monster would only provoke it. Instead, I lunged for the nearest magazine stack. As this "fell-roach" drew close, I let loose a volley of light reading in order to stun it. After a direct hit from Southern Living, I was able to end its foul reign. Antennae flailed uselessly in the air from beneath the glossy pages of the magazine. Never again would it see the oozing walls of its dark subterranean lair.

Cockroach: 0
Me: 1